Peer Pressured

From the start of my life till now.. i have met quite a number of ppl.. those who have crossed against my path in some point of my life and those who are still around me etc.. Most of them has got something that i can learn.. or something that i admire.. they are all veri good.. some good at certain things.. some good looking, rich, nice character, got nice family, nice girlfriend etc etc.. i feel inferior whenever i tink about my good.. not that i dint try to improve.. but without motivation, nothing much can done.. these type of pressure is good i noe.. it pushes one to strive harder.. but still now i still can hardly accept myself as who i am.. im actually trying to change into another person n im left with no personality. but eccentric. People around me are too good.. i have 1 friend who is very caring for his friends.. to the extent that, eventhough the incident indirectly involves him, he wishs the shit happened on him instead.. and offered his time and $ that is not caused by him.. Its indeed true that therez no such thing as over caring.. Maybe im jealous. Cannot be blame cos i've never show any good to others.. wat can i expect. Beside him i feel like a heartless bastard.. my blood is cold. see.. i actually trying to morph myself into other person again. Being alone will not have these issues..and i can enjoy being my lousy self.. its a 2 way thing.. u wont have troubles, and also happiness. Time is near.. need to decide whether its a new beginning or ending..