Who Am i

... as usual. my mind went wild for a moment.. i realized im not what i thought i was. I dun react to situations that i thought i would. i dun feel comfortable with situations which i think i would, with generousity. i thought i have changed and look at things more openly. But i realized i havent change at all... I still feel the same way as last incident... i begin to realize that people onli noe their true self throug situations. Not words that they claimed. Im still trying to noe myself, at the same time, trying to change, until now tat i have confused myself with split personalities.

i shouldnt be thinking useless things now.. i should be seriously thinking abt my pathetic future, how to survive... before i set some goals if can... Last time i said to myself, i shouldnt come to a stage whereby my onli interest left is girls. And at 1 time, i have really lost my onli passion, gaming. But i forgot to ask myself what if i also lost interest in gals.. becos i thought it will never happen.. i found myself surfing less porn, i dun around to look at gals i used to be. even if i said this nobody would believe.. i myself oso find it unbelievable. LOL. fark la.. i think its onli a matter of time.. and time will revert mi back.. i shall not start anyinh... At the end of the day, i will confirm be the one hu die terribly...

i was even reminded the reason i put braces for.. but now i found a new reason.. i put it.. because im trying to love myself... craps.. super pressurized... all the peers around mi.. are striving, have goals. study de study, work de work, thinking of ways to earn big $, cars, gf, marry, family. While im losing fighting spirit and motivation. bye.